20141114

Are you happy?

Bismillah


semalam duduk-duduk dengan housemate baru, she's an Italian woman. sangat peramah, sanagt genuine and sincere. suka offer makanan. so teman dia makan dinner. amcam-macam dia tanya pasal islam. dia tanya pasal tudung, pasal solat, pasal kenapa dia tak commit dengan christianity, pasal social life dia, pasal freedom, pasal macam mana aku socialise dengan ada batasan hubungan antara lelaki dan perempuan.

i was overwhelmed that night, because no one really asked me about my religion the way she did. dia tak tanya soalan susah pun, banyak perkataan kenapa tu, kenapa ni. aku tak tau kenapa susah sangat nak cari logik yang dia boleh faham sebagai seorang non-muslim dan bukannya jawapan template yang biasa cakap dalam usrah dengan adik-adik yang hanya tahu angguk dan tak bantah.

like, should i say; 'it is because my God asked me to do such and such.'?

is it even sufficient?

am i right to doubt the common answer, or i can just leave it to that?

and last-last bila da cakap and explain banyak-banyak, she came up with this question:


'are you happy (being a practicing muslim)?'


subhanallah. that question completely blew my mind. i never asked myself that question, am i happy being a muslim? am i forced to be happy? 

to be completely honest, i don't know whether i am happy or not with this religion. 

is happy the right word to portray how i feel about my own faith? calm? peace? or whatever?







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